Try to read this with a little sense of humour and you will find great joy in it. These are famous quotes understood in a unique way. Don’t let work be boring for you and do apply some of these tips and amuse your colleagues or friends. Feel free to print it out and stick it on your work desk.

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, just #$*^ off and leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand mile begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.

3. It’s always the darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbour’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.

4. Don’t be irreplaceable; if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted either.

5. No one is listening until you make a mistake.

6. Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

7. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

8. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

9. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

10. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car instalments.

11. Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

12. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

13. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

14. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

15. Don’t squat with your spurs on.

16. If you drink, don’t park. Accidents cause people.

17. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.

18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back into your pocket.

19. Duct tape is like the force; it has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

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